Jessica Simpson was live on Dancing with the Stars last night croaking out Robbie Williams hit "Angels". That song is terrible, but the bigger problem is the person singing it. What to say about Jessica Simpson. I'll start with she's over-confident about her singing. I really feel terrible for her, every time she gets on a stage she blows out her range, throws her body and face into a contorted mess and ruins the song, further ruining her reputation as a singer, failed dater and as a person.

In other failure news, Kim Kardashian got the boot and when they sent her packing, they asked her to not let the door hit her in the ass, but it was too late. I'm sure Kim's ass hits everything.

Jessica Simpson has been working on her country chops, hoping that fans will better respond to a country album, rather than pop. Everyone likes a good country girl, right?

Here is her first single "Come on Over"from her upcoming album.

Tell us what you think.

Poor Jessica! It's one thing to be made fun of for being stupid, but when Jessica's dudes start making fun of her sex...

It's been reported that Tony Romo took a trip to Chi-town this weekend with his friends and while he was absolutely plastered he decided he no longer wanted a girlfriend. He apparently went wild with the ladies and in front of his posse, called her up on speakerphone to razz her about her bedroom skills. He told everyone that they are "over" and that he is only having fun with her because he could never get serious about marrying this girl.

What's up the Simpson girls; they've gone wayward. It's time for Papa Joe to put the lock back on the chastity belt. Ashlee is knocked up with an untalented gay rocker's baby and Jessica's getting dumped left and right.

We're still waiting for Nick and Vanessa to officially break-up and find his true love again. You know that Papa Joe is just waiting for both girls to have their respective family reality shows. If he could get Jessica pregnant too, the show could go on and on and on!

source: Superficial image: Essays

It was Tony's birthday Saturday night and Jessica celebrated her boyfriend's 28th birthday by serenading him at Suite. Jessica sang "Happy Birthday" where she fed him his clever blue star-shaped cake with his number "9" on it, followed by champagne and dancing reports People.

"She licked cake from his face as everyone cheered them on. It was quite a spectacle," says one club insider. "But they looked really happy together. Jessica had blue icing all over her hands and mouth and Tony was laughing."

That will be all the singing we'll see from Jessica. She can go back into relationship oblivion until football season starts up again.

In other loosely talented Simpson news, Ashlee appeared on Leno last night where she gave a very sub par performance.

Paris Hilton called into KLUC-Las Vegas’ Chet Buchanan & The Morning Zoo show on Monday and shared her opinion about her former BFF Kim Kardashian’s signature giant asset.

What would you rather have Jessica Simpson’s rack or Kim Kardashian’s ass”, she said:

"That's gross. It’s disgusting. It reminds me of cottage cheese inside of big trash bags. I would not want that, that's gross. So Jessica's rack? I would not want that, I don't like big boobs, they're too... big."

And there you have it, the words of a genius. Pathetic that they have to stoop to asking such questions in an interview because Paris is so vacuous that she can't even play along with a kind word.

Paris has since apologized to Kim, saying it was only a joke. So are you Paris.

[source: backseat]

Jessica Simpson graces the May 2008 cover of Esquire.  Sorry Jess this isn't gonna cut the attention getting mustard. Lindsay's creepy New Yorker photo shoot hasn't left a soul wanting more spreads like this.  So please do us all a favor and go back under the rock from which you came.

Mayer's blog says:

Dear Ex Lover,

"Perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore.

I don't know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I'm done trying.

"I hope this is enough closure for you.

"Goodbye.

"P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me."

[image: ucarmagazine]

Jessica "xoxo jess" Simpson left us a message on her fansite letting us know where she'll be, because we want to know where the most boring chick in Hollywood is at all times. She's on her way to Kuwait to perform for the troops March 10. She's currently recording her heehaw album and will return to her regular yodeling and clogging schedule when she gets back home.

"Hey ya'll. I just wanted to say hi, and let you know that I am hard at work on my country record, and I can't wait to share it will all of you. I am heading to Kuwait to do a show for the troops, then back in the studio. I love you all and am so blessed by the support and love you show me everyday!! xoxo jess"

[image: Splash News]

Jessica is in the Germany's January edition of InStyle and what an oxymoron.

Oxy: yes she needs it for her bad skin.
Moron: yes, of course, thank you.
In style: not at all! Never has been; has-been: yes, I think so, even while she's got two movies out and is working on a new CD.

Poor Jessica, she tries, but she's so boring. The best thing she had going was that half-ass reality marriage. At least Nick laughed at her stupidity and made her feel all dumb and wife-like. Now she's a parasite that nobody wants around, even a whole stadium of jockos. If the jockos don't like her then what's she got? Daddy? Nope, Papa Joe doesn't even like her anymore since Ashlee got pretty.

Jessica wont be attending anymore of Tony's games, since she became the jinx. So she's off to Nashville to revamp her career. Those country folk love everybody. You can call your band Rascal Flatt and they'll forgive you for it! So even though she's tried everything and failed, she knows she's a shoe-in in the world of country. Unless their love for Carrie Underwood prevails and they start wearing Carrie Underwear masks to Jessica's concerts.

She tells the Chicago Times, " I am a country girl, I grew up in Texas, and country music was what I listened to. I always wanted to make a country album, but I wanted to wait until the time was right." Yeah like, I have failed at everything else, but country.. the time is right!

‘‘I think there is a strength in female country artists,’’ Simpson adds, citing Martina McBride, Shania Twain, Faith Hill and Reba McEntire as some of her inspirations.

Asked what has surprised her most since starting the follow-up to 2006’s ‘‘A Public Affair,’’ Simpson says, ‘‘Nashville is a very warm city. The people are friendly and kind. There is a sense of community, which thrives on music. There is no animosity ... only respect for one another’s talent.’’

It’s unclear if Simpson will hit the road in support of the country project, but she says, ‘‘Since the record is in the beginning stages, there hasn’t been much talk about a tour just yet.’’

Good Luck Jess! They'll love you over there on the country side, Hollywood's too big for you.

Apparently Jessica Simpson has decided to abandon the sinking ship that is her career and save herself. How? Strip away everything that is holding her back, for instance her jealous dad's advice and of course, her clothes...

Femalefirst is reporting that Jessica Simpson is desperate to strip naked in a Hollywood movie.

The blonde beauty wants to be taken seriously as an actress and believes baring all is the best way to earn the respect of Tinseltown, even if it goes against her family's wishes.

A source said: "Jessica is in the running for a role that, if she gets it, will put her right on the map in terms of acting.

"The only hitch is that the script requires a number of quite graphic scenes including a full-frontal nude scene. Jessica is so desperate to land the role and get the industry's respect that she's ready to go against her better judgment, and her family, by agreeing to bare all."

Earlier this year, Jessica's father Joe Simpson forced her to turn down a potentially Oscar-winning role as a porn star - insisting she keep her clothes on.

He said: "The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star. We were promised we would win an Oscar with that. I told them, 'I think we'll just buy a statue of a little man and keep our clothes on.' "

Jessica's movie career has stalled of late, with her most recent film 'Blonde Ambition' failing to gain a cinema release and being branded a "disaster".

Jessica Simpson and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo must be sharing limos to save expenses.
Hey, Don't notice us, were not dating or anything!

Jessica Simpson is looking like an older version of herself at 19.

Not only is Jess dating again, but she's also working again! Like her ex, Nick Lachey, she landed a job, working a Christmas special. She is the show closer for the annual Christmas Day Parade TV special that airs on Christmas Day, recorded at Disney's Magic Kingdom in Florida.

Here's to keeping out there!!

During a November 6, Cowboys-Redskins game, Troy Aikman, Joe Buck and the rest of the Fox crew revealed several facts about Tony Romo. One of the facts included his crush on Jessica Simpson.

The two began dating and have already spent a holiday together. Thanksgiving Jess took Tony home to meet the family.

Jessica Simpson and quarterback hitched a ride on a jet at Love Field in Dallas late last night and headed to Hollywood. They landed at the Bob Hope Airport in Burbank.

Most recently Tony was seen with Britney Spears, on the receiving end of a lapdance. Ew.

Dallas natives, Jessica Simpson, 27, and Owen Wilson, 38, have been on several dates together since they worked on a Willie Nelson music video last month in Austin, Texas.

They were first spotted at the Huntley Hotel in Santa Monica. The couple was more recently seen in NY at the Waverly Inn and on to drinks at Rose Bar.

Us Weekly reported that, “Jessica was touching Owen’s arm and flipping her hair. Owen was charming, making Jessica laugh. It looked very much like they were on a date.”

A friend reveals that the two aren't dating exclusively, “Owen finds Jessica hilarious, but he’s talking to lots of girls.” .. Jessica hilarious? Ha, that's funny!

Owen's been single for a long time in Hollywood years, since he and Kate Hudson parted. Jessica is always looking for love, but seems to have a time keeping the fellas.

I don't know why anyone would spend a day with bad breath John Mayer, but Jess put in her time. I hope these two find love.

Friday night, after a long day in court of eating, snorting, f@#%ing, and sucking it, Brit and cousin Alli went out for a night on the town.  Alli (of course because she's the more boring one of the two) has been friends with Tony, the Dallas Cowboy's quarterback for about a year.  She met up with he and his friends at Ketchup and Brit wanted to come along.  Their stint at Ketchup only lasted about 5 minutes before Brit blew that place (probably for something faster and more instantly gratifying, like McDonald's), then later met up at Hollywood hotspot Les Deux. 

 

Donned in a masquerade ball mask, Brit must have taken a fancy to Tony because People reports that Brit tried to make up for her poor performance at the VMA's by giving him a grinding lap dance, upstairs at Les Deux.  

What is it about this guy that attracts these ladies he's been linked to... there's Carrie Underwood, Jessica Simpson, Alli Simms...Are you still awake?  

They'll be many more popping up over the past few weeks.