We Knew She Was Unsexy But She Lives In A Parallel Universe

Tuesday, after some chandelier shopping, Brit was feeling sexy and thought she'd pop in on a big A-List, Maxim hosted event, at Opera nightclub.

"Friends of Britney" tell OK! Magazine that Crazy was driving around bragging to her friends that, "Maxim had always been so good to her in the past and she didn't want to miss anything fun." (do check out the Maxim link to see "how good they have been to her")

Then her "friends" informed her she hit the list of the 5 most unsexy women on the planet! On the planet, along with Madonna, Amy Winehouse, Sandra Oh and Sarah Jessica Parker. (She was probably thinking, "I shoulda done never kissed that Madonna")

"She started to pout and her eyes were filling up with tears. She had no idea there was such a thing as an Unsexy list and it came as a pretty big shock."

"We didn't want her to get inside Opera and have people coming up to her or telling her she was a part of that list," explains the friend. "It would have been really bad if she had had a breakdown inside the club in front of everyone and she wanted to go out and have a good time and forget all the drama at home."

Still, jealous of all those people that weren't labeled "unsexy", she had to drive by to see what's going on, she briefly slowed and then headed on to get a bite to eat. She and vomit bag Lutfi headed on to Mirabelle restaurant in West Hollywood to eat away the unsexiness.

What good friend she has! The second coming of Howard K. Stern and Anna Nicole. This Lutfi creep can't compete with the A-listers and just wants to keep Britney to himself, while he devises a plan to inherit her fortune. He's probably keeping her hopped up on Jenkem to keep her drug tests clean.

Now she's been talking about demanding an apology from Maxim. I don't think I'd go back in for more. Try hanging back.